- The Other Madonna
- Why Can't I Keep My Big Mouth Shut
- UPS
- The Gaucho Named Klaus
- Mini Van America
- The Day I Woke Up as Bruce Springsteen
- Feminist Cowgirl from Mars
- I Got Stoned
- My Soul Ain't Got No Soul
- Suzy Sang Softly
- Fuck You (and the sport utility vehicle you rode in on)
- You're Done
- Surrogate Guy
- Prom Vomit
- Why I Didn't Call
- -- hi how's it going?
- Diesel Dyke
- Clap You Fuckers Clap
- -- witty banter
- -- witty yet heretical banter
- Jump on a Cross and Die
- -- even wittier banter
- The Day I Woke Up as Bruce Sprinsteen
- Fuck You (and the sport utility vehicle you rode in on)
- -- banter so witty you'll plotz
- -- again with the banter?
- Bite Me
- -- does this dork ever shut up?
- The Goucho Named Klaus
- -- yadda yadda yadda
- My Soul Ain't Got No Soul
- Ballad of a Skank Ho
- -- just shut up and sing already
- Jesus Owes Me $50
- -- no wonder you don't get laid, you talk too much
- Tool
- -- you know you could fit a lot more songs on this album if there wasn't so much witty banter
- The Other Madonna
- -- blah blah blah