Get a load of angry Johnny, with his hand balled in a fist
He comes walking in the scenester's bar, happy to be pissed
He orders up a jager, chases it with beer
His mouth says brown, I'm leaving town but his eyes are staying here
The unmitigated freak show
Starts awful early these days

Well, check out broken benny, he's been cut off at the knees
They roughed him up and left him here to buy his own cd's
He hangs out here most weekday's he doesn't even sing
Til the freaks start pointen fingers say, hey weren't you once our king
The unmitigated freak show
Is awful fickle that way

Well check out crazy Amy, she only looks like she's on crack
Truth be told she's just your average dipsomaniac
She's graspin for her boyfriend who is graspin for his shot
Something not unlike the one ten years ago he got
The unmitigated freak show
Seeks out some snowflakes it can melt

Well, it's two hours in a van to visit with my Aunt Arlene
People say she's got a great pad, but I say she's cheap and mean
But the freaks cut arms and verses, just to get an invitation
To put on a simulation of a show of desparation
The unmitigated freakshow
Don't really care what you once felt

CHORUS 1
Don't you know trendy pants and a big rolodex
Can turn ten years of mediocrity into an overnight success
If you ask for my advice, I say put it into drive
You'd be lucky to get out of here with your songs alive
The unmitigated freakshow
Coming to a theatre near you

Get a load of handsome Harry, he's so goodlooking it hurts
Almost half as much as some of his dumb words
But he dutifully sits there, staring at his toes
Hip hoppin through the hoops and loops the suits he knows have chose
The unmitigated freakshow
Has seen it all before

Well here come my old posse, they're the wiggers of this scene
They shoulda gotten bigger but some how sidestepped the dream
But twice a month it's showtime and they pack the place of course
And play their funky breakbeats on the carcass of the horse
The unmitigated freakshow
Seldom pays you what it owes

Well all the freakabees are out here looking for an angle
May I present idyllic twins, Jimmy Jingle and Jimmy Jangle
If your lily aint too white, then it's probably too star spangled
But there ain't nothing too secure that the freaks upstairs can't mangle
The unmitigated freakshow
Is more an udder than a teat

So you wanna sound just like the Beatles, if they grew up on Counting Crows
Have your posters hung in bedrooms, girls scream everywhere you go
Use words like back end and percentage, wear Versace and look bored
Change your name and claim the fame is punishment and not reward
The unmitigated freakshow
Proves hypocrisy's a two way street

Like the little dweeby bede, a geek nobless oblique
Immune in corner with his notebook, calls himself the anti-freak
But who knows maybe if the suits, would tout him their next bard
He'd put a tag on his integrity and sell it in the yard
The unmitigated freakshow
Has been know to play those tricks

CHORUS 2
Don't you know trendy pants and a big rolodex
Can turn ten years of mediocrity into an overnight success
Some folks call it compromise, some folks call it rape
Most folks just drink their beer here at the sour grape
The unmitigated freakshow
Coming to a theatre near you