She calls me up at 10 on Friday night
Asks can I come over I say alright
When I get there she says she wants to be alone for a while
I'm crying on the inside but I just smile...
... because

CHORUS
I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool
I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool, tool, tool

She and he are driving cross the country
She's callin me honey so she must want something from me
She asks me can they fuck inside my tent
And, by the way, while I'm gone could you pay my rent.
I say okay... because...

CHORUS

When you were mine I took you for granted
I played around and, all those Fonzie antics
Now when I see you with him I want to heave
But I still stay til you ask me to leave
Because...

CHORUS

I was not afraid of worlds colliding
I had a girl I didn't feel like hiding
Now she can't come to my gig, she says she's sorry
But she is on the guest list to see Cory

CHORUS