Tonight you said you'd leave me for the hundred millionth time
Well I got news and best believe me that my news is gonna rhyme
It's true 'nuff that you're going but not by plane train or sail
So don't worry none 'bout packing cause you're leavin in the mail
I'm gonna send your spleen to Abaline, your ears to Arkansas
Your right brain to your mamma and your left brain to your pa
I'll send you kidney out to Sydney way down in Baton Rouge
I'll send your ankles to my uncle on the beach in Santa Cruz
I'll send your bladder to Seattle, 'cause that's what you think of grunge
Your duodenum to Denver, Raleigh-Durham gets your lungs
I'll send your liver off to Lynchburg where they bottle the J.D.
They can ring it out and sip the juice and close the distillery
I'll send your larynx to Minneapolis, your pharynx to St. Paul
Your espohagus to Easton and your stomach to Cedar Falls
I'll send a finger to each old boyfriend that you used to keep me down
I'll send the thumbs to your ex-sweet heart living in your ex-home town
I'll send your colon to Colorado, your nose to Des Moines
Your uterus to Utah, I might just keep your groin
Your small intestines to Rhode Island and your buttocks to the Bronx
Send your scalp off to Sy Sperling, taunt him with your golden locks
There's one more part I'd like to mail of your anatomy
But I couldn't find it anywhere in your chest cavity
I shook you upside down, I tore your sexy bod apart
It all makes so much sense now, you were born without a heart
When tonight you said you'd leave me for better fish out in the sea
Some of you will be postage due and the rest is C.O.D.
Don't worry none 'bout jet lag cause you're going fed express
While some of you I might just send out UPS