(The Girl I Like is a) Diesel Dyke

from Dork Radio EP

(although this appears on the radio EP it can never receive airplay...and yet it remains my hit single...how's that for a black fly in your chardonay?)

CHORUS
The girl I like is a diesel dyke
The chick I dig digs chicks
The girl I like is a diesel dyke
She don't want me or my swinging dick

It ain't me she wants to bang
She don't want me or my wang
At night she dreams of kd lang
Her dreams are just like mine
She's wishing I would up and leave
Her sweatshirts are all reverse weave
Her favorite Winwood brother isn't Steve
She drinks her beer from a Gertrude Stein

CHORUS

She swaggered in the bar like Clint
But woman one hundred percent
Although she could've used a mint
Her tatoo said born to maim
I said hi, she said fuck off
Called me a folkie, called me soft
When she called me a 3 toed sloth
I swear I almost came

CHORUS

But I know our love is doomed to failure
Cause I've got inappropriate genitalia

She don't need me to kill the bugs
Change her oil change her plugs
Protect her from the urban thugs
Clear her winshield in the snow
Like the lizard king and the shamen
She's in the same club that I'm in
I said we got a lot in common
She said more than you know

CHORUS